this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
