Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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