dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
