My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
