Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
