we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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