There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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