The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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