we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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