Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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