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i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
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