I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.