Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
