wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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