you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."