i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"