I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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