My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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