oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
