His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
