Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
