dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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