If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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