I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
