I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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