You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
