I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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