when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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