Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
