Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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