Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
