I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
