He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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