I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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