butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
