i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
