i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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