call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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