We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
