but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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