She said her name was "party"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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