Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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