We're facebook friends in real life
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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