just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
