I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize