we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
