I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
