1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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