she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
