Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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