New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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