I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
