Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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