Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We left the knife in your bed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize