I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
