What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
