We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
