True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
