I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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