Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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