The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
