whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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