it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I touched a dick in church today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize