I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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