Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
