Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
