I must be too annoying 4 u.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
