I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize