buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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