I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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