I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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