real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
